University of California
Type of paper: Thesis/Dissertation Chapter
“Teenagers need to take into account important issues in order for a relationship to flourish.”
Discuss the statement above with reference to two poems you have studied on the theme “Relationship.”
There are several important issues that teenagers need to consider seriously when being involved in a relationship. Issues such as having honest open communication and dialogue, understanding one another, not being judgemental, knowing and loving each other are important elements in any successful relationship. These issues are highlighted in the poem that I will write on. These two poems are “Quiet Pain” and “Silly Woman” both written by the famous, Pacific Poet Konai Helu Thaman.
In ‘Quiet Pain’ a poem about love relationships, the main issue Thaman discussed is communication. She emphasized the need for an honest and open communication between couple / lovers. In the poem ‘Quiet pain’ there is obviously a lack of communication. The personae wants to dialogue but is being completely shut out by the other partner who wants privacy. In the lines…. “I walk blindly into your silence with you / sitting there like coral rock / your familiar face / is strange.” the other partner is unapproachable and withdrawn. For a relationship to survive, there is a need for partners to talk about their problems and feeling openly and sort things out. As a young person, we should try and consider the other persons needs, to be more open with feelings of expressions when involved in relationships because when there is communication breakdown, problems will surface.
Another issue Thaman points out is understanding. In a relationship it is imperative for couples to understand each others feelings and emotions. A relationship is not all rosy. Couples may encounter problems, which is part and parcel of life and need to work on it. ‘we retreat into ourselves’… in this line, the couple feels withdrawn. The partner does not understand the reason for the person’s intrusion. This can be solved through trying to understand the problem or situation one is faced with Rerlationships can be built on tolerance, love, respect and understanding. We need to understand why our partners may be feeling down sometimes. We should be more willing to listen to and help them and share each others sorrow, pain and suffering.
In ‘Silly Woman’ one of the issues Thaman disscused is “not to judge a book by its cover.” This means that one should not be mistaken or tempted by one’s physical appearance when choosing a partner no matter how beautiful or handsome one looks since looks can be deceiving. One needs to know a person fully before making a choice. ‘Did you ever love him?’ ‘Did you ever know him? Tell us that the woman did not know anything about the man. As young people we need to give time to get to know a person fully first before setting down with him /her. We must know each others likes and dislikes before committing ourselves or even doing a background check on the person. That is why one must not fall in love easily before the dating and courting process.
Another issue discussed is being loving, caring, kind and responsible in any realtionship! If a relationship has to be long-lasting and rosy, then there needs to be unmerited and unrequited love without any strings attached between couples. They must love each other like they love their bodies. In the line ‘Like a horse you’d carry any godddam thing’ Thaman points out that the man is sort of bulldozing the woman to do most of the work. This should not happen in couples. Couples must be kind and care for each other and ensure that all responsibilities are equally shared, thus preventing problems and misunderstanding. Young people need to understand this so that their love can prosper and develop fully.
To conclude, the issues of communicating in a relationship, understanding one another, not marrying a person on face value and love are all essential elements of a good relationship. As young people we need to consider these issues seriously in order to have a successful relationship and a successful future of happiness and bliss. If these do not exist in any relationship then unfortunately the relationship will be doomed. Just like in our society today where there is a lot of marriage break up and divorce.
Suva Muslim College