University of Chicago
Type of paper: Thesis/Dissertation Chapter
How to be a true friend
Life can be a lonely thing without companionship. People always talk about the true value of friendship but people do not know the friendship actually what it stands for and how to be a true friend. True friend is the one, in which the individuals do not have to maintain formalities with each other. A true friend you are talking about is counted as your family member. The relation you share with him/her reaches a stage that even if you do not correspond for sometime, your friendship remains unscathed. But Acquaintances are easy to come by but true friends are a whole other story. So I will talk about how to build friendships and three right ways to be a true friend. “If you’re absent during my struggle, don’t expect to be present during my success.” Will Smith said. People all have bad days, or weeks, or even months. People all feel overwhelmed at times.
A true friend should be present for their highs and lows. It’s easy to be there for our friends when they ask you out for fun things like drinks at the bar, dancing in the club, or laughs at the theater. But are you willing to be there for the hard times that are the opposite of fun? You might not feel comfortable while spending time with an emotionally fragile person on the verge of tears, but true friends are readily available when they’re needed the most. When the other person is in trouble, a true friend comes to know that merely by listening to their “Hello” over the phone. A true friend does not desert each other when one is facing trouble. They would face it together and support each other, even if it is against the interests of the other person. So to be a true friend is to help your friend whatever you can do. Second, people should be more truthful and vulnerable. Ironing out conflicts with friends is more difficult than with family members. Most people make the mistake of assuming that friends can help easily sort through conflict, but it’s the opposite. People often have different allowances for emotional expression. For example, I have learned that the hard way.
Months after befriending a now former friend, I learned that the person was speaking badly about my privacy to another friends. Because the person knew personal information about me, what he said was more convincing and harder to overcome. In many ways, you have to be much more strategic about choosing friends. When a conflict arises, pick up the phone to discuss with your friend, rather than using email. But even that can be awkward if there’s been a behind-the-back controversy. So if you can’t accept a person as they are, you will never know the feeling of true friendship. All best friends are friends, but not all friends can be best friends. In this world of cynics and back stabbers, there are still some people who are worth being friends with. They have to be recognized and respected for being best friends for the lifetime. Full disclosure will strengthen your friendship and make you both feel at ease in each other’s company. Finally, true friends will advice you with the constructive criticisms. A true friend is not scared to tell you what you’re doing wrong.
They’re not scared to seriously intervene if they see that something is seriously bad for you or if you’re going down the wrong path. But they always support their criticism with advice that can help you improve. “The truth is rarely pure and never simple”, Oscar Wilde said. Confronting a person about an inconvenient truth isn’t easy, but sometimes it needs to be done. If you have something to say and can’t find the nerves to do it, ask yourself, “How would I feel if it was me making a very bad decision and my friend said nothing about it?” While speaking out doesn’t guarantee you’ll change their mind, staying silent does guarantee you’ll regret not speaking up sooner. In my conclusion, a true friend will sacrifice their own comfort or happiness and put you first. A true friend is not a fair-weather friend. They are there for you in good times and in bad times. A true friend is someone who is honesty and can rely on. Best friends support even each other, even if the whole world opposes them. It is not easy getting true friends for the lifetime. If you have even one true friend, consider yourself blessed.